Sooo…this clearly isn’t the motivator I thought it would be.

I don’t really even know where to begin a post. I have a back-log of completed projects I had the best of intentions of posting here on my shiny blog but I have yet to find the motivation to sit down and write. I think I’m only writing here today for the fact that I’ve had a sudden epiphany about one of the most persistent, nagging questions: what the hell do I really want to be doing for work? At the outset of this blog I thought that if I tinkered around in as many areas I could the answer would present itself. Of course I was only messing around in a few subject areas and, to be honest, I lack the basic mental capacity to comprehend many of those subjects, thus the time-to-mastery may very well be exponential. That’s kind of a bummer since my mind likes to fantasize and romanticize on being a “maker”, or a “programmer”, or just flat out being able to conceive of something I want to build and then straight up building it.

Today I went for a run. I am training for my first 100K (that was also supposed to be a {} post here) and as I warmed up to the idea of running and went through a mental checklist of gains to be had at the venue I was running I realized there was a giant gap in my preparedness for the 100K. Specifically I recognized I am mentally unprepared to run 62 miles. I have competed at ultra distance events in the past with above-average success and during the lead-up to those events I was clocking 4-hour runs and huge climbs to hone my mind as well as my body. This time around I decided not to log massive mileage, to give myself my weekends rather than flirt with burn out from rising at 4 am on Saturday and Sunday only to come racing home to the family 3 hours later as they just START their day. Too much. So I’ve been going super low miles, beating up my legs on the bike and hitting the weights 3x of week instead. My brain is happy with this, my recovery is excellent, but I know I am not ready to go 100K yet.

On the run this morning I forced myself to make a long climb at the very end of the run. For the majority of the two laps leading up to the climb I was in a mental debate. One side of my brain knew the necessity of climbing, the other side wanted to call it a day after two laps and tried to argue that I had so much to do today. I made the climb. At the summit (so to speak) I stopped to snap a picture which I posted to Instagram while I pondered what I needed to do to be fully ready for my race. Stress. I have to introduce mental stress into my workouts from now on to ensure I have the fortitude to make it through 62 miles.

That was my morning. Upon arriving home and starting to get all that stuff done my brain was whining about I have found my creativity level totally reenergized but not for those fancy subjects I wanted so badly to explore. No, for one of my true loves in life: training and coaching. So, back to the beginning and my search for “what would you do for work if money was no factor?” One half of the answer is: train and coach people to rise to their true, innate potential.

Yay! I figured it out! Now WTF am I supposed to do about it?

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